you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize