there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
