You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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