could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
