Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
