Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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