I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
