So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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