Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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