I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
