Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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