the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love you. Go after that dick
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
