I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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