I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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