walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
