Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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