Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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