ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
