i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
