god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
