I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
