I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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