he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
