she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
