I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
