A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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