Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
