so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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