So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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