Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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