I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
vagina is talking i cant
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
