does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize