If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
