I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
