he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
