and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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