What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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