4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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