The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize