apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
