i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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