its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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