A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
