So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
