She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
