i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
