You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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