Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm always down for nudity.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
