Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize