I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize