i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
