If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
