bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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