that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
