I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
