Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
