Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A bitchslap is in order.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
