I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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