Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
