Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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