a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
