She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
