This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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