so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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