No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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