Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
