Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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