he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize