don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
