I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize