handjob tips. give me some.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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