If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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