I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
