Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Life is so much better after having sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
