she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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