new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
